you wake up, stretch your toes out as far as you can, and
give an over dramatic yawn. checking the clock, you see that it’s eight. “not
too shabby,” you think. “it’s still pretty early.”
you reach over the side of your bed, find your phone, and
scroll through facebook like it’s your own little local newspaper.
aw, Jenny got engaged! Winston is finally going on the trip
he always wanted. Judy has the cutest kids.
wait. what is this?
Ten Reasons Getting up Before Six Will Change Your Life.
click. open. read.
you slowly begin to realize just how wrong you have been
looking at this your whole life. you’ve been wasting so much time and you
didn’t even know it. you are lazy. unmotivated. and did you know that people who
get up earlier live a longer life?
you jump out of bed as quick as you can and rush into your
morning routine. after getting out of the shower, making the bed, and folding a
load of laundry you head to the kitchen and make yourself a cup of coffee while
pouring a bowl of cereal.
as you sit down, your phone lights up with a notification,
so you open facebook again, laugh at Tony’s comment, and do another quick
scroll through your newsfeed.
Fifteen Things Your Breakfast Says About You.
wow. you never realized your breakfast said so much. you
glance down at your fruit loops suddenly repelled and wish to goodness you had
an avocado, whole wheat bread, free range chicken eggs, and sea salt. oh and
maybe some mangos, spinach, and chia seeds for a smoothie. this kind of eating
will lead to depression, obesity, probably death. this kind of eating points to
immaturity and lack of willpower. another thing you need to change asap.
you run out to the store and buy some of the more exotic
sounding foods that will change your life. these things aren’t cheap, but you
certainly feel more mature and empowered. you check-out and a little while
later, your husband shoots you a text.
“what on earth did you buy today? I went online to pay a
bill and saw you spent over two hundred dollars at the store!”
you explain all the healthy things you plan on making with
the rare items you found, but your husband is not impressed. in fact, he
jokingly says he’ll be eating at his parents the next few days.
you fume angrily as you unload your expensive groceries.
there are less bags than you thought. as you shove items into the back of your
fridge, you collapse on the kitchen floor, you lean back against the cabinets,
cross your legs, and see if there’s anything new online to take your mind off
your ungrateful husband.
Twenty-One Ways You Know You have Found Mr. Right.
you scroll through the ways furiously.
“he respects your ideas.” hmpf! your husband didn’t seem so
respectful of your ideas today! “he’s willing to try new things.” ha! you laugh
bitterly. he would be fine staying the same forever, that old grump.
you get up off the kitchen floor feeling like you’ve been
cheated out of Mr. Right and storm to the bathroom to fix your hair.
you carry on with your day in a mood. it seems like you
can’t do anything right, and you’re feeling like it’s somebody’s fault.
probably Mr. Not-Right’s.
a few hours later a Pinterest notification pops up. your
sister sent you a picture of her dream outfit. you look at it for a moment and
then glance at the suggested pictures and posts under it. there is a picture of
a larger looking woman with the heading “Forget the Thigh Gap! Eleven Reasons
Why I Want My Thighs Thick.”
almost automatically you click it. you read through it
slowly and despairingly and learn that if only you had thicker thighs, you
would be that much better and have so much more fun. you don’t even realize how
absurd your feelings are or how absurd this article is. you simply think about
the way that you have self-consciously been a tooth-pick your whole life with
barely any figure at all.
by the evening, you feel completely worthless. between instagram users with perfect pictures
and links to their perfect lives, facebook articles telling you how to make
your life or image better, pinterest to make you feel like your house and
wardrobe should belong in a Goodwill ad, and the other countless internet plugs
subtly showing you all that you’re not and all that you don’t have, you feel
you will never be enough or have enough.
whether you relate to these particular examples or not, most
of us have struggled with something on the internet before. if you just gave
birth to your fourth child, you may be unconsciously envious when Sue posts a casual
picture of her slim figure. if you’re a guy, you may wish you could buy a
motorcycle as nice as the one Tim just bought or see as many amazing places as
Jon or be tempted to stare at pictures of girls you wish were yours.
if you’re on a budget (and most people are) you will find
yourself wishing you had just a little bit more to spend on furniture or
clothes or your dream car or dieting pills or a gym membership or travel or
food or a house.
and you’ll find yourself comparing even the internal
struggles. so and so looks so happy all the time... I wish I was always so
cheerful. so and so’s husband bought them expensive jewelry… again… I wish my
husband would buy me something nice every now and then. so and so’s wife always
makes homemaking look so easy… I wish my wife would pay more attention to
cleaning. so and so has a more fulfilling career… I’m just doing this to pay
the bills but I wish it was fulfilling. so and so always gushes about how
blessed they are… why doesn’t God send us so many blessings. so and so is so
popular and outgoing… I wish I was somebody’s role model.
we are living in an age that hands us all sorts of ideals
and opinions on the silver tray of television and magazines and radio and
pictures and articles and internet and billboards and movies and
advertisements.
we are surrounded and unless we come out with our hands up
and stare this oppressor in the face, we will simply continue to sit in our
homes unaware of the siege that is quietly starving us of true joy and
thankfulness.
so how do we face comparison? we are surrounded
by everybody’s lives and thoughts and agendas and propaganda. how are we not to be
overcome by it?
some would say that we simply avoid it altogether. unplug
the television. delete all the apps. no more movies. don’t pick up that
magazine. shut out the world, both the good and the bad.
I don’t know if you’ve ever seen “The Village” but it tells
the story of those who tried taking that approach. set in what would appear to
be the sixteen or seventeen hundreds, a small group of people live in a very
simple village surrounded by woods, living very simple lives. the parents only
teach goodness and kindness in their homes but warn their children of the
danger beyond. as the story progresses, you begin to realize that the fathers
and mothers of this little village are trying to protect their children by
telling them of a monster who lives just outside their town, lurking in the
woods. soon enough though, even with being protected from the outside world,
even with strong morals, sin creeps in and causes havoc in the hearts of the
whole village. in one of the last scenes, a younger girl goes for help from
what she thinks is a neighboring village, climbs a wall, and stumbles onto a
paved road and a ranger dressed in the garb of modern America
the point of the movie was obvious. shutting out the whole
world will not solve the problem of the heart.
and closing your eyes to everyone and everything that you
feel is better than you, will not solve the comparison factor.
that’s not to say that taking those things in moderation or
taking breaks from them or not having them at all is a bad thing. it’s just not
the answer to solving the heart of the matter. sooner or later you will come into contact with humanity. and there will always be someone you feel is better than you. something that is nicer than what you have.
so how do we stop comparing ourselves to others? how do we
not read articles and feel disappointed with ourselves? how do we not look at
other’s lives and wish ours was more like theirs?
well one way is to be thankful.
Ann Voskamp, in her book “One Thousand Gifts” writes, “our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that
we aren’t satisfied in God and what He gives. we hunger for something more,
something other.”
what if we took everything we
have, everything we are insecure about and considered it a gift? a gift given
to us directly from God.
the messy house you can’t seem
to keep up with? who was that mess made by? your kids? are you thankful for
them? are they a gift? give thanks.
the clothing that you want but
don’t have? do you have any clothing? (I hope so.) didn’t the God who clothes
the lilies of the field clothe you with exactly what you need? isn’t that a
gift? give thanks.
even the fact that you don’t
have the brown hair you always wanted or the chiseled body that you think you
need… didn’t God knit you together in your mother’s womb? didn’t He know you
before the foundations of the world were laid? aren’t you made in His image?
isn’t that a gift? give thanks.
if you are unhappy, it might not
be because of the circumstances you hold responsible for your feelings. It
might, in truth, be the way you are viewing those circumstances.
let’s face it, it’s not usually
our actual circumstances that are the root of the problem. it’s how we feel about those circumstances.
you live in a house. that’s a
good circumstance. but you feel like
your sister has a bigger, better house and you feel like you need one too.
you have a face. that’s a good
circumstance. but you feel like so
and so’s is better looking and you feel depressed
every time you pass a mirror.
hopefully you have a good spouse or
parents or friends. not perfect, but good. that’s a good circumstance. but you feel like they just don’t understand.
you feel like they should be better,
care more, fit in better with that “Top Ten Ways to Know You have a True Friend”
list.
you feel like you should be giving more, doing more, growing more,
loving more, working more, relaxing more, saving more, spending more,
exercising more, cooking more, communicating more, encouraging more.
and not all of those are bad
feelings or things to do.
but they are when you don’t give
them to God. and they are when you don’t give thanks.
“Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will
of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything
through prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made
known to God.” Philippians 4:6
another way to face the
comparison factor is to stop comparing yourself and your life to others, and
instead compare it to Christ.
did Christ wear the latest
fashion, live in the cutest house, drive the fastest car… er… chariot?
was Christ the most popular
person on the planet? did everything He say make everyone love Him? did He care
what others thought about Him? did He compare Himself to everyone else?
did He withhold grace from others? did He only heal those who were in a social or political position that
could be advantageous to Him? did He only love those who first loved Him? did
He only do God’s will because He expected physical blessings here on earth?
doesn’t Christ give thanks and glory to God? doesn’t
everything He does and says point back to God? didn’t He sacrifice His life,
His comfort, His glory for that of God?
He didn't even have a top-whatever-number of reasons to tell Him to do so.
what if we did the same? what if we gave thanks for this
gift called life? what if instead of focusing on what we don’t have, we focus
on what we do? what if even what we do have we
give back to God with thanksgiving in our hearts?
God doesn’t ask us to be like everyone else. He asks us to
be like His Son. “For to this you have been called, because
Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his
steps. 22 He committed no
sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. 23 When he was
reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but
continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. 24 He himself bore
our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to
righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. 25 For you were
straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your
souls” 1 Peter 2:21-25
God doesn’t promise
us we’ll be like everyone else. He promises that “He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion…” Philippians
1:6 and “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth
comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the
revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not
willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free
from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the
children of God” Romans 8:18-21
the temptation to compare and be discouraged is real and in your face twenty-four-seven. and
even when we remember to give thanks and set Christ as our example, day to day,
minute to minute life has a way of shoving good intentions to the furthest dusty corner of our minds.
so that is why the third way to face the comparison factor
is simply to pray. pray that you will be thankful. pray that you will set
Christ as your example.
and pray for others. for the one who pops into your mind as
you’re reading an article. for the friend you know who is struggling with the
same insecurities you are. even for the people behind the seemingly flawless
accounts and pictures.
give thanks. look above. pray continually.
these aren’t new struggles. these aren't new ideas.
if facebook was around two thousand years ago, underneath articles like "Ten Life-changing Ways to Make Your Donkey Less Stubborn" and "Five Sandals You Must Have This Season" you might have found an article called “The Top Three Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.”
